October 29, 2008

editt// adding to my list:
- gas money so i can drive down to averyy :)

today is the day of my first job interview. today is the day i got my first job. today was a great day :) but yeah, i guess it's pretty exciting because with this, comes responsibility.. well, kind of hha. this post is so pointless but i just wanted to enlighten my stalkers about my daily activities, hahaha. but anyways, i'll make a list of things i'm saving up for :)

- airfare for bostonnnnnn :)
- taylor or martin or breedlove guitara (i am so indecisive)
- summer program at oxford in england :)
- backpacking in europe with liz
- vietnam with mi cousine diana
- various other items that are not as important :)

well, basically that's my list of like.. long term stuff. but there are always short term items and stuff that aren't toooooo important like a pea coat :) but yeah. i hope you alllll have a beautiful night!

done by the hands of a broken artist

you painted black where my naked heart is
i finally know what wrong is
now i finally know that you bleed for nothing
carved like a stone from your hands still shaking
on display through a soul still breaking
aren't you proud you're the one who made me?
aren't you proud? aren't you proud?

LOL, so when i first heard this i thought it was like an anti-Christ song but it ISN'T so it's all good. like basically it's about how you shouldn't let someone change you or make you into someone you aren't, which i think people can really relate to today. there are so many things and people in the world trying to change you and mold you and make you into what society deems as perfect or good. but you know, the best thing is to just be yourself and not change for anyone, whether it be for acceptance or otherwise. it's just a daily reminder that i'm not perfect and that i'll always be loved by the people who really love and care for me :)

but yeah, i think this song was reallyyyyy beautifully written and i just wanted to share it with you guys :) it's called masterpiece by meg and dia, so now that you know go listen to it! here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfznCeBFDgg. i wish i could write music like that.

anniversary :)

i don't know why, but i all of a sudden had a burst or nostalgia. so i went back to like my oldest posts and started reading all of them and i realized that YESTERDAY was my one year anniversary on this thing :) wow, right? so much had changed since then and i realize that i was super whiney/annoying on this thing. and i used to write every single day, which now that i think of it is super obnoxious :p and i saw that i wrote like really angsty posts sometimes which was also kinda funny.

so this is kind of like those old posts, i guess. i'm basically writing about nothing except for what comes to mind. hmm, it was fun though so i want YOU guys to revisit your posts from like.. 2007 (!) and see what you wrote :) it's also really nice to see how big my blogspot family has grown :) it started off with just lonely little me on here and then BOOM! IT WAS LIKE AN EXPLOSION!

oh well here's something fun: i'm taking the PSATs tomorrow and now i'm scared for SATs and i'm scared i won't get into college. I DIDN'T REALIZE THERE WERE SO MANY BIG WORDS!!!

i really don't know what to write about

this weekend was fun.. nott. but i dunno, after reading (or hearing) about all your lyf retreat experiences i felt like i was there too. am i making sense?

i could tell that it was just so beautiful. physicially. emotionally. spiritually. everything about it was beautiful. everyone was so open and it feels like there was freedom in the air. broken hearts were healed and mended, yet there are still hearts out there that weren't. there are people that were spiritually thirsty and they got their water, yet there are others who still struggle. i really have no idea what i'm saying but bear with me. i'm writing what's in my head? but yeah. as always, there are still people out there who are hungry for more and that weren't really affected byretreat. i'm so happy for all of you who had a wonderful experience and were really able to break down the walls that kept you from Jesus. and i'm praying for those of you who weren't really able to feel anything. who are still hurting and kinda broken and weak. but if that is what's going on, i really encourage you to talk to someone about it. your family at LYF :)

this post is so blah. i feel like i'm like a 50 year old teaching a lesson on life (no pun intended) but i can't really say what i'm actually thinking. oh wells. it's inspiring a songggg :)

broken i come to you for your arms are open wide

starting over at a new church is different. kinda weird. kinda interesting. kinda intimidating almost? now i know how newcomers feel and i kinda wish i was more welcoming and friendly and open. people like that and people feel accepted and it makes people want to go back. who wouldn't want to find a place like that?

i'm feeling kind of dry right now and just kind of spiritually broken. i'm scared to admit that i'm not strong, that i'm weak. i'm scared of change. i know i'm being so vague right now but it's kinda hard to explain and don't worry i'm not emo. i'm actually pretty okay with it here except finding a good church is always hard. just don't forget us in your prayers. i <3 you all.