this is my story, this is my song...

i just realized that i don't really mind hymns. so i'm at school right now. study hall, woohoo! lol. and my short story's saved on this computer so here it is. it's about a depressed girl who feels alone all the time and feels as if no one can relate to her. i wrote it because it's something that i feel people can relate to even if it's not to this extent. i think it's so real and stuff because even i have felt like this before, but definitely not to this extreme. so yepp, i hope you enjoy =]

What is torture? Is it the constant whispers of her classmates talking behind her back? The piercing words that her parents throw at her unaware of how she's taking it, or even the whole story? Or is it just the feeling of knowing that there's no one to talk to? Day after day, she's pulled back by the chains bestowed upon her. She can't run, because where is there to run? She can't hide because someone's bound to find her. She can't help herself. She feels broken. Not loved. Alone. She has no one and she knows it. She's never felt love, and she'll never know love. Life to her is just a burden. So much of a torture that she just might give up. Give up everything she has.

They sit alone outside on her porch, the wind blowing against their faces, the sun catching their hair. She wants to talk to her. Tell her how she feels. All the troubles she's had. All this hurt in her life. This is the time if ever. The one real friend she has is here. The one person that she talks to about everything, except for the things that matter; the things that she keeps bound up inside. Afraid of the rejection that might arise if she were to spill her deepest secrets. She puts up a fake identity. One with a happy smile, one that she goes to school with. Comes home with. She's normal, but she is still hurt. They don't know that when she's alone she cries. Cries for all the times she's had to be strong. Cries for all the things she misses. Life back then; not now. It seems as if everyone's turned on her. They say she's not pretty. They say she's not cool. They say she's just not enough. They hate her. All but this one friend that's stuck by her side the whole time, sticking up for her, fighting for her. This friend is the reason that she's still here today.
Playing out the different scenarios in her head, she's still afraid of what might happen. That this only friend she has will also leave her behind. Then who will she have?
She wants it to be different. To have a normal life, a normal family. Just not this one. Sometimes she wonders what it would be like if she didn't live here. If she didn't look like she did. If she was smarter, more outgoing, and just not herself.
Ten minutes passed, while she was thinking; dreaming. They both sat there quiet. Her friend silent not knowing what to do. She initiated it, asking her to come here, asking her to talk with a serious face. Her friend didn't know what to think of it. Now the time has come. The time for her to break free. The time for her to just release this pain and hurt inside of her to someone she knows will care. Someone she knows she can trust. Playing it over in her head, she knew that there really isn't anything to lose. She doesn't have anything now... so why wait? Might as well get it over with and she feels like it will make it feel better. Taking one deep breath, she poured out her heart. Told of all the pain she has endured from school, from home. Told of all the struggles she's had to deal with within her home; her parents fighting, and sometime even taking it out on her, as if it were all her fault. She cried about all the times she's felt like no one was there for her, the rejection she feels everyday wherever she is. How she's alone on Friday nights and how no one ever wants to talk to her. She talked about how she puts on a visage everywhere she goes. The happy smiles and the darkness that's inside of her. The voice within that's threatening her life. She told her how she has lost hope, and how she doesn't even want her life anymore.
Rain began to fall, as if crying for her. As if washing away all that is there, cleansing her of all her hurt, her pain, her suffering. Her friend gave her a shoulder to cry on. She hasn't had anyone for a long time and it felt good to just sit there, silent, with tears streaming down her face, knowing that someone cares for her. Knowing that someone loves her. That pain is still there and she still feels it; but now she has someone that will always be there for her. Someone she can trust and who understands her. Someone who loves her. That's all that really matters, isn't it?

-Victoria Lee